Feeling horrible about breakup and going no contact

I broke up with my boyfriend last Sunday because I found out he had been cheating on me via text with his ex. We have been dating for little over a year now and he lied about who she was and told me his ex was a friend he met while travelling. I was a little skeptical but never questioned anything and I feel so stupid. We spoke and exchanged stuff the day after. I’m really mentally unstable and asked him to stay in touch with me so I could feel somewhat okay. But then he found out last night that his ex committed suicide and he’s really not okay. I stayed on call with him for a few hours out of concern but I have a history of suicide attempts and I was shaking and crying and couldn’t feel anything. I wish I could be stronger and be there for him like he is willing to be there for me after the breakup. He has been so sweet and I hate it because he’s such a sweet person and I hate that he cheated on me. But everything feels so fucked up. I asked his friends to check up on him but I wish I was his girlfriend again so I could be by his side and make sure he’s okay. He hates comfort and help but he used to let me hold him in my arms. I tried for the last time on call to comfort him but he seemed really against it and I just know it’s because I’m not his person anymore and it hurts and it’s torturing me. I ended up blocking him after the call ended.

He has always been wishy-washy when it comes to support. When my grandma who I was really really close to passed away he chose networking parties instead. Whenever I had a suicide crisis he would be drunk playing his games, asleep, or dealing with something worse so I can’t talk to him. He never communicates with me when something bad happens in his life and he refuses to tell me a lot about his past which I thought I would all one day learn about but now realize he just never fully trusted me. I cut him off but I’m hurting so much. I feel like I should be there for him. I wish he was here for me still.