How do you deal with going no contact with a parent?

It’s been 3 years since I’ve talked to my father. My father is an extremely charismatic and manipulative person. Our problems started about 5 years ago when we got into a fight. He was verbally abusive and extremely controlling before then. We went 2 years NC then I felt guilty and we started to talk again but then the same problems persisted. At this point I understand I can never talk to him again for my own safety and sanity. It still weighs on me nonetheless and it’s something I struggle with. I still have great memories with my father and it’s difficult dealing with the fact that even though he may have had great qualities, overall NC is the best option for my sanity and my future. My question is, for those who have been in a similar situation, how do y’all deal with it? I feel like going forward there will always be apart of me that feels broken and incomplete.