I Lied About Being Pregnant...

In 2016 I was homeless inbetween college semesters. I was unemployed, lacked a vehicle, the whole 9 yards. I resorted to 3 escorting sessions and selling drugs to pay my friend for letting me stay in his apartment that summer. I was also an addict at the time.

Many of you many know of addict behavior. But this is.......

I ended up spending that money on drugs (and prolly some food but definitely not groceries), so I needed money to pay my friend.

This is where it gets disgusting 🫣

There was a guy I had slept with a few weeks earlier. I had known him for all of high school and that just makes it worse. I told him I was pregnant and needed an abortion. I ended up taking $300 from this man behind a very serious lie. The drugs aren't an excuse either. I'm sure there are plenty of addicts that would've never crossed this line.

To make matters worse, he was Christian (at least at the time) so an abortion would've devastated him. But my saying "but I'm in college and my life will be ruined" is what got him to give me the money anyway.

Here's where I'd like your advice:

I've been sitting on this ever since I got completely sober (2017). I've felt guilty, as I should have. But I keep going back and forth between telling him and giving him the money back plus extra... and keeping my mouth shut and letting him live the rest of his life (hopefully) not even worrying about this (more undue stress).

My issue has always been that both options seem so incredibly selfish...

To tell him feels like it's for my own guilty conscience... and to not tell him feels as if I'm avoiding responsibility and any direct consequences.

So Reddit... What do you think?