Advice/Vent meeting BM

throwaway as I’m quite active on this sub and don’t want to link to my other posts.

I’m so p****d off with my adoptive parents!

Quick backstory — adopted at 5 years old, now 18. — Bio mum was in a bad place when I was young, seen some things I shouldn’t have and services said she was involved in things deemed as a ‘safety risk’ to me. — she didn’t want contact for a good period of my childhood — started the journey to make contact about a year ago, and she agreed! We’ve been chatting mostly via WhatsApp and my APs had been supportive. {including my wishes to not have them involved}

However as of this weekend when making plans to meet, I suggested to my APs that I would like to invite her over to our house. It’s my safe zone etc also don’t want to risk emotions in a public setting.

My douche father has said under no circumstances will he allow someone who is essentially a ‘stranger’ into his house especially if they are not there. She’s not a stranger and it’s my home too

I don’t want to do this publicly and do not want them sitting in another room as that’s just weird

Is there a way or angle I should be spinning this to them to understand it’s how I want to do one of the most important events of my life and they need to get over themselves?