People’s experience with adoption?

Hi I’m a 19 year old who’s 10 weeks pregnant. Father’s not involved and doesn’t know about the baby. I tried having an abortion yesterday, and I fell in the very rare 1% who had a failed abortion. I saw the baby on ultrasound kick, and when I saw that I couldn’t bring myself to keep going. By myself I will never be able to give the baby a good life. I’m broke, bad at school, gotten fired twice, etc. I’m still debating on whether or not having an abortion will be the best for me and the baby, but I would like to know some stories about adoption? I really want to give the baby a life, because it’s my fault we’re here. But I don’t want the baby to ever grow up thinking I didn’t love them and want to be there for them. I really want to, I just can’t do it. I’m not made to be a parent. Could you give me some advice? Is it hard to grow up adopted? Is it hard to give your baby away?