frike frike I can't get diy HRT

I really do not like how I cannot get DIY HRT. I got just enough money for it yet there's no way for me to actually be able to pay for it with the methods that the websites want me to pay. I will have to be hondosed by the doctors and cry and die or maybe cope like a meth head (fake and gay) or maybe even wire myself to an electrical outlet idk lol :(